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Question

How to stop comparing yourself to others?

Answered by Stefano De Cubellis

You cannot stop comparing — it is biological, it is how the brain calibrates your position in the world. But you can change the direction of comparison. Stop comparing yourself to the curated version of a stranger on the internet and start comparing yourself to who you were six months ago. The only scoreboard that matters is the one with yourself. If today you are a millimeter ahead of yesterday, you are winning a game nobody else is playing.

What the letters say

From Letter 01 — Here we go again

Trading. Forex. A blog. Videos. Social media. Travel. Every time I saw the wave before others and every time I rode it I got off before it reached shore.

Not from lack of talent. From something worse. A chronic impatience disguised as intuition. The conviction that if something doesn't explode immediately, it's not the right one. That the next beginning will be the breakthrough.

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From Letter 02 — Choosing who to be

I wrote in my journal: "I always thought others were better than me. That they had something more. That they were more capable, more attractive, more performing."

Because the only competition that matters is the one with yourself. Not with who you think others are. But with who you know you can become.

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From Letter 03 — The price no one wants to pay

Fifty-four attempts to become better. This is the third. Best, Stefano.

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Related Questions

Why do I always compare myself to those who have more?

It is a cognitive bias called "upward comparison." The brain automatically looks for those doing better, not worse. It is not your flaw — it is a software flaw. But you can correct it with awareness.

Do social media make comparison worse?

Enormously. You are comparing your worst moments with the best (curated and filtered) moments of millions of people. It is a rigged game you cannot win.

Can comparison with others motivate?

Only if it transforms into admiration rather than envy. Admiring someone inspires action. Envying them locks you in frustration. The difference is subtle but decides everything.

Read the most relevant letter: "Here we go again" →
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