IT EN
54

Question

How to deal with restlessness?

Answered by Stefano De Cubellis

Stop trying to extinguish it and start giving it direction. Restlessness is not a problem to solve — it is raw energy asking to be used. Those who ignore it transform it into anxiety; those who fight it transform it into frustration; those who channel it transform it into fuel. You do not need peace — you need a project large enough to absorb all that energy.

What the letters say

From Letter 01 — Here we go again

And it's not anxiety or fear. It's that silent certainty of not being in the right place wherever you are. That whatever you've done, it's not enough. That there exists a version of you that you haven't reached yet, and maybe never will.

It was "the beginning" that was the drug. That feeling of newness and magic of being able to be or go anywhere you want. An evolution that I still didn't understand the exit signal, the escape.

Read the full letter →

From Letter 02 — Choosing who to be

But it wasn't true. I hadn't chosen any of it. I had only inherited it, piece by piece, without ever stopping to ask: do I still need this? Does it make me better? Does it take me where I want to go?

That tension you feel in your chest, the one you don't know how to name, the one I talked about in the first letter — it's not stress. It's not anxiety. It's the distance between who you are and who you pretend to be. And the more that distance grows, the louder the noise it produces.

Read the full letter →

From Letter 03 — The price no one wants to pay

And this is biology. The body is programmed to save energy and push away pain. In winter blood moves away from hands and feet and flows toward the heart. If you lose your hands you still live, if you lose your heart you don't. It's the same mechanism that keeps you on the couch when you should get your ass up.

My brain was screaming: stay. It's easier. You have a secure salary. You'll build your thing calmly, in your free time.

Read the full letter →

Related Questions

Is restlessness a sign that something is wrong?

It is a sign that something must change. Not necessarily outside — often inside. Restlessness is the messenger, not the enemy.

How to distinguish healthy restlessness from anxiety?

Healthy restlessness pushes you toward something new. Anxiety locks you on something old. The first wants action, the second wants control.

Does restlessness fade with age?

No, and it should not. The most interesting people you will ever meet are restless at 70. What changes is the ability to channel it.

Read the most relevant letter: "Here we go again" →
Subscribe to receive the next letter