IT EN
54

Concept

Freedom from Dependency

From the letters of Stefano De Cubellis

The most widespread addiction is not a substance: it is the approval of others. Stefano identifies it as the invisible constraint that prevents most people from living the life they desire. When your decisions first pass through the filter "what will they think?", you are not free — you are hostage to an audience that is not even watching. Freedom from dependency begins the moment you accept that the only opinion that matters is that of the person you see in the mirror.

What Stefano says about freedom from dependency

From Letter 01 — Here we go again

Trading. Forex. A blog. Videos. Social media. Travel. Every time I saw the wave before others and every time I rode it I got off before it reached shore.

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From Letter 02 — Choosing who to be

I showed a version of me built to survive. A pile of habits collected over time — some from childhood when I was looking for attention, some from my teenage years when I was looking for respect, others from adulthood when I was trying to prove I could make it.

I wrote in my journal: "I always thought others were better than me. That they had something more. That they were more capable, more attractive, more performing."

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From Letter 04 — Week 4 of 54 — Happiness is a habit

I've always been afraid of being alone. My greatest strength is independence, but it implies my greatest weakness: being alone.

We're born alone. We die alone. And in between, we live often unable to tell others what we're feeling. But it's precisely in that solitude that you find yourself. Not at parties. Not in distractions. Not in noise.

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From Letter 05 — Week 5 of 54 — The real cancer

"I don't believe in myself, so I always have to prove things to others to make them true."

I spent my whole life wanting to be someone in the eyes of others.

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From Letter 06 — Week 6 of 54 — Monkey mind

Why am I getting these results right now and not others?

And where does it come from? Doctrines. Academic teachings devoid of life experiences. Books studied without living them. Family patterns we might not have chosen. Voices of others we mistook for our own.

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Frequently Asked

How do you become free from the need for approval?

Stop asking permission. Not arrogantly — consciously. Every time you do something without waiting for someone else's green light, you are breaking a chain.

Why do we depend so much on others' judgment?

Because we are social animals programmed to belong to the group. But what was useful on the savannah is a limitation in the modern world. Evolution has not updated the software.

Does freedom from dependency mean not needing anyone?

No. It means choosing the people you need, instead of suffering the need to please everyone. Freedom is not isolation — it is conscious selection.

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